Ghosts of Emma Swan's Past
by MissaSissa
Summary: Emma Swan is miserably trapped in an engagement to a man she doesn't love. After catching a glimpse into her future and seeing how weak and sad she has become, Season 1 Emma travels to the future to knock some sense into herself. Literally.


**This was largely requested and to be honest, I don't think I did it justice. But I tried. So, here you go. Enjoy!**

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Emma took a sip of her wine, blushing as Hook winked at her from across the table. This was their first date after officially becoming engaged just a few days before, and Emma was determined to enjoy it. Distraction-free, magic-free, problem-free. Just the two of them. Alone. Again.

The blonde took a large gulp of her wine as her anxiety began to kick in. She found herself annoyed with the constant alone time they seemed to have these days. Now that she and Hook were living together, she didn't have any personal space. No time to just relax with herself, just Emma Swan.

No, he was always _around._ Constantly wanting kisses, cuddles, lovey-dovey vomit-inducing disgusting couple crap that Emma used to avoid like the plague. She tried to find ways around it; asking Henry to stay a day or two longer than he usually did, inviting her parents over for dinner almost every night, exhausting herself with magic lessons, which she could tell was causing Regina to worry.

And now it was going to be even worse. She had said yes to the pirate's proposal, simply because he had planned it out and invited the whole town for the 'surprise party'. The love and hopefulness in his eyes was impossible to say no to, and with the citizens of Storybrooke watching on like a romantic chick flick, Emma had put on a smile and agreed all the while feeling herself die a little inside.

4 years ago, she would never have even looked Hook's way, let alone say yes to marriage. She was happy being badass bounty hunter Emma Swan, charming and sexy with a touch of sarcasm, irresistible to both men and women. Her longest relationship lasted 3 years, and that was only because her trusty vibrator she committed herself to had finally run out of spark. As for human relations… not since she was pregnant with Henry. Minus the winged monkey of course, but that turned out to be a sham anyway.

But that wasn't to say things with Hook weren't nice. She was… _content._ He bought her coffee and made her breakfast in bed and her parents seemed to like him, that was a plus. Most importantly, Henry bonded with him, and Emma was happy to see her son opening up to someone other than his moms.

So, she forced herself to feel happy, believing it more and more with each drink of her wine. When her anxiety was finally clouded by the effects of the alcohol (along with her judgement), Emma leaned on her elbows and flashed a flirty smile towards the pirate.

"Wanna get out of here? Maybe go to the Jolly Roger and finish this night off with a bang?" The blonde unsuccessfully attempted to appear sexy as the rest of her glass of wine ended up on her expensive dress and Granny's hand-stitched table cloth.

Hook didn't seem to notice in his own hazed mind, and eagerly held his handless arm out for her to grasp. They stumbled the whole way to the pier, laughing loudly and probably waking at least half the town. Emma had swiped a key to Granny's restaurant earlier that day, not caring to have this miserable date observed by the love-struck citizens of Storybrooke that were dying to catch a glimpse of the town's hottest couple.

Because to the outside world, Emma Swan's life was perfect. She was a hero, the Savior. She had her family, her friends, her _true love_. A man that waited on her hand and foot, changed her into something she never wanted to be. Yet, each day her supposed 'happy ending' continued on, the more Emma wished she could turn back time. Never have left Boston. It seemed she was happier there in the oblivious bubble she had created for herself. But she knew that was selfish. Without Henry, she never would have found her family… or Regina. She should have just ignored Henry's warning, taken him out of Storybrooke without another word. There was a lot of 'should haves' that seemed to add to the cloud of despair hovering above her. And they all seemed wrong.

As Hook swept her up into his arms, pressing his stubble-covered face against her tender skin, Emma pushed the thoughts away. This was the decision she made, and she was going to have to learn to live with it. Find happiness in the dark void that never quite got filled.

Emma fought not to gag as the taste of stale rum and the scent of cologne filled her senses. _Find a happy medium, Swan. Go to your happy place._

As the man groped and kissed her for all she was worth, Emma slipped away. Her mind conjured up different memories in her head, ones she would never quite forget. Meeting her son. Meeting her son's mother. Almost being killed by said mother. Borrowing the Mayor's shirt and never giving it back. Spilling her hot cocoa because of her son's mother and her distracting body. Watching Regina find love with someone else. Accidentally ripping that love away from her and baring her wrath. Sacrificing herself for this woman despite all that without a second thought as to why. Having this same woman save her, snap her out of her darkness. And finally, seeing the sadness on Regina's face right before the woman hugged her tightly, congratulating her on a proposal Emma was thankful she never saw.

Emma was torn out of her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder ripping her back from Hook. The man stared at her, then the person behind her, shouting out a curse just before a right-handed punch sent him sprawling to the deck of his own ship.

The world spun around the blonde, and Emma doubled over, afraid she was going to be sick. The nausea tripled as she found herself being lifted over someone's shoulder, blood rushing to her head and increasing the dizziness that plagued her.

"Get the hell off me!" Emma shrieked, giving a firm kick only to have a hand hold her even tighter. The blonde gave a double-take as she stared down at the ground. She recognized those boots. The brown ones that had permanently become stained with mud from all the misadventures of being Storybrooke's one and only Sheriff. She had thrown them out long ago when her mother encouraged her to have a more feminine sense of style, claiming it would impress a certain ruggedly-handsome man that had been vying for her affection since Neverland.

After what felt like hours, the world turned right side up once more as Emma Swan was dumped carelessly on her ass. She landed with a hard _oof_ and blinked up at what looked to be a hotter, younger version of herself. A very pissed off version of herself as well.

"Get up!" The younger Emma ordered, wrapping a strong hand around Emma's arm and yanking her to her feet.

Before Emma could get a word out, a fist was connecting with her face, and she found herself face-down on the graveyard ground where she and Regina had their first ever physical fight. Blood filled her mouth, and tears filled her eyes as she rolled over onto her back.

"Please, just leave me alone. Whoever you are. Gold in disguise, Henry, Zelena." The plea sounded pitiful even to her ears, but Emma really had no more fight left in her.

"You're an idiot, Emma. I'm you, from the past. 3 years back, to be exact. I'm happy. I have my son, my parents, and a soon to be hot and bothered Mayor on my side. A little birdie informed me of what my life has become years later, so I've come to change it," the younger Emma said with a smirk.

"Why the hell did you attack me? Can't we just talk this out?" Emma asked, pinching her now bleeding nose.

"Obviously, we can't. Or rather, _you_ can't. Because every time you talk to someone about your life decisions, you end up making the wrong choice. So, I figured I would come back and kick some sense back into you." The younger Emma lifted her foot and prepared to kick her older self, but Emma was prepared.

No way was she going to be dominated by herself. She was done being a pawn in other people's happiness. She was going to fight for her happy ending. Otherwise known as the man that got his ass kicked by a more in shape Swan that was still rough around the edges. But as Emma lunged forward to attack her twin, she found herself pinned to the ground flat on her back.

She almost found herself about ready to pass out, but a few sharp slaps to her face kept her conscious. "Stay with me, Swan. Our little heart-to-heart isn't over yet."

The younger Emma Swan pinned her with ease, her head propped up on her elbow casually as if chatting with a friend. Trapped Emma fought against the body pinned to hers, but to no avail. She finally gave up and relaxed underneath herself, staring up at the stars overhead.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Emma?" Younger Emma questioned. "I'm living my happy ending. Finishing my story the way it was meant to be," the older blonde meekly answered.

Her captor laughed bitterly. "What? You think that one-handed guyliner dude is your True Love? You have got to be kidding me. What happened to the badass, strong Emma that only had her sights set on one person?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Emma mumbled, averting her gaze.

Her younger self caught her chin in her hand, matching sea-green eyes staring into her own. "You've become a bad liar, I see. A soft little duckling that always needs a hand to hold onto."

This sparked anger inside of Older Emma. She wasn't exactly happy in the place she had been in 3 years ago. She was still bitter over her parents' abandonment, afraid of screwing up her only son's life. She had been insecure and cold-hearted, not open and loving like the person she was now.

"I let my walls down and learned to open myself up to the possibility of love."

Her younger self chuckled. "You're completely miserable."

"So are you," the pinned blonde snarled.

Younger Emma nonchalantly shrugged, examining her cuticles. "Maybe I'm not _completely_ happy yet, but I'm sure as hell not going to let you ruin what I've got going for me. And that doesn't include a drunken pirate. Come on, Swan. Are you really going to let this man play daddy to our son and shape him out to be just like him?"

"Henry enjoys being with Hook. He's the one who suggested we move in together and get married. He's a good kid," Older Emma argued.

"Now he is. But I've seen what his future is like. And the closer you become to your man candy, the more Henry pulls away from his other mother. By the time that kid turns 16, you'll have a grandkid or two and Regina will be back to hating your guts."

Emma couldn't help the gasp that escaped from her mouth as her younger self leaned down so they were nose to nose. "Hook was never the one you wanted. Not even when you agreed to date him. Told him you loved him. No, the one you really wanted- the one you _still_ want- has been patiently waiting for you to come to your senses for years."

The older blonde stared up at her carbon copy. "But- Regina hated me… us. She always wanted me dead, and then finally accepted me as a friend after years of breaking through her walls. Robin was her True Love. She was so heartbroken when he died."

Younger Emma rolled off her, perching on a tombstone as if it were a chair fit for a royal Queen. "You know why she was so devastated, Emma? Because she knew this never would have happened had you gathered up the courage to tell her how you feel. If you had stopped skirting around the truth and just done what you both wanted, you both would be happy right now. More importantly, _I_ would be happy."

The younger blonde stretched out her arms, grinning at the muscles protruding from her sleeves. "I haven't been working out for the last few months just for the hell of it. Regina's been eyeing these babies for a while. Plus, she watches me on my early morning run as I pass by her house. Every single day on the dot she comes out onto her balcony in a skimpy little nightgown and pretends to grab the paper. But you know us. You know what she was really looking at."

Older Emma rolled her eyes. Had she really been this cocky back then? No wonder Regina suffered from chronic migraines. She jumped slightly as her younger self hopped down and held her hand out. She wouldn't put it past her to throw in another couple punches or two. She always loved the thrill of a good fight.

Instead, she found herself being pulled to her feet. "So, the deal is this. Either you go to Regina's house right now and tell her how you feel, or I will. Either way, by the time I get back to my own time, she will be putty in my hands. The only plus about this new Regina is I heard she isn't as bitchy. She'd still make a wild bed partner, I'm sure."

Older Emma pulled herself back from her younger self's grasp. "Would you quit talking about her like that? Regina is more than just some hot, fuckable woman, alright? She's the mother to our son, a real human being, you know."

"And you love her."

"And I love her," Older Emma repeated. She frowned as she realized she had just admitted her feelings out loud. This was carrying the plans she had mapped out with Hook far away. It would be a hell of a mess to explain to her ever-so-supportive parents as well. Maybe it would just be best to forget this whole thing. Go back to the ship and drink until she passed out.

Her younger self beamed at her successful attempt to get through to herself. "Great. Now, all you have to do is tell Regina how you feel. Come on."

Emma pulled against the hand that dragged her along, planting her high heels into the soft ground and nearly falling back down as she did so. "No. This will ruin everything if I tell her."

"You mean _change_ everything. Swan, I know you're not that stupid. You're just scared. And drunk, unfortunately. The supposed liquid courage people tend to feel has a different effect on us, I forgot. Well, don't worry. I'll handle this."

A steady hand gripped Emma's shoulder, and she fought against it. She knew what her younger self was trying to do. She had mostly forgot the intense physical training bounty hunting required her to have, but she still remembered this classic move. It was how she captured most of her charges.

"We had a good talk, Em. Just don't make me come back and kick your ass again. Regina is gonna kill me for stealing her magic bean. Oh, and stop borrowing clothes from Mom's closet. You're starting to look like the nuns in this town." With those words, Emma fell unconscious into her younger self's waiting arms.

Regina stumbled to the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Who the hell would think to show up at 1 o'clock in the morning? Zelena followed behind her, keeping her at arm's length in case it turned out to be some Fury or Chernabog or Soul Sucker demon.

So, the brunette was more than surprised when she came face to face with Emma Swan, holding another unconscious Emma Swan in her arms. Her eyes immediately traveled to the woman's biceps. She never could help herself from staring.

Regina quickly snapped out of her haze and put on an annoyed glare. "What the hell is going on, Emma? Who is that? And what the hell did you do to her?"

Emma invited herself inside, carrying the unconscious woman in her arms up the stairs with ease. "All you need to know is, Emma loves you. I love you. She's just too scared to tell you that. I kicked some sense into her though, don't worry. The pirate shouldn't be a problem anymore."

Regina stared at this younger, healthier, happier looking Emma Swan in front of her, finding herself helping this doppleganger tuck her best friend into bed. Suddenly, it clicked. "You're Emma from the past, aren't you?"

Past Emma turned and winked at her, the signature smirk that used to get under her skin plastered across her face. "You bet your ass I am, Madame Mayor. Glad to see your apple tree is doing fine."

Regina snorted at that. "Alright, that's quite enough. You just came to the future to kick this Emma's ass? For what, adopting an even more horrible sense of taste in clothing?"

Emma laughed out loud. "The alcohol helped with that. She'll be nursing a headache tomorrow morning. But no. See, you two love each other. I fell in love with you from the minute you threatened me and ordered me to stay away from our son. Unfortunately, this Emma screwed up my one chance at happiness. So, I'm taking it back."

Regina gasped as Emma grasped her by the collar of her shirt and pulled her close, hungry lips devouring hers before leaving a sure bruise on her sensitive neck. She found herself giving in, mirroring Emma's movements. But before it could go any further, the blonde pulled back.

"I can't take away this Emma's moment with you. But maybe I'll get my own chance after I get back to my time and apologize for stealing that magic bean," Emma said with a soft smile. "Just keep her away from the pirate, and don't hold back. Not that he'll remember a thing anyway after tonight."

Regina watched Past Emma slip out of her window and into the night. Zelena came in to join her, a very confused look on her face. "Was that just two Emma Swan's I just saw?"

Regina patted her sister's shoulder. "Go back to bed, Sis. You were sleepwalking."

Zelena huffed, but turned towards the doorway. "Snow and David aren't going to be happy about their daughter throwing the pirate away for someone that's practically family."

Regina stroked the sleeping Emma's face, conjuring up a bottle of Motrin and glass of water for her to have in the morning. "You're turning green, Zelena. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous."

"Blonde's aren't my type, 'Gina! Look what happened with Hades!" Zelena threw back over her shoulder before leaving her little sister alone.

Regina chuckled and climbed into bed beside Emma. The next morning when Emma awoke, she was very confused to see Regina beside her. The brunette noticed she was awake and swiftly shut her book, reaching a hand out to try and keep her calm.

"Regina? How did I get here? Wasn't I just with Hook?" Emma asked, her face scrunched up in an adorable little pout. "I had the strangest dream. I got my ass kicked by myself in that graveyard we first fought in. Weird, right?"

Regina's eyebrows raised at the blonde's bruised nose and split lip. She'd fix that damage with magic before Emma noticed. "Had a bit too much to drink last night Miss Swan, hmm?"

"You would too if you had to deal with what I have to," Emma muttered crossly.

Regina just shook her head and pressed a quick kiss to the blonde's forehead, shocking them both. "I thought you left the one-handed wonder in Neverland, dear. Now you're dreaming about cheating on me?" The older woman put on a feigned look of hurt.

"Cheating on you? Regina… we're not together. I'm engaged to Hook. See? I even have this engagement ring…" the words died on Emma's lips as she glanced down at a diamond-less ring finger.

"Drink some water, dear. Maybe that will help clear your memory," Regina said with a smirk.

Just before Emma's past self had left last night, she had explained her plan to Regina. "I'll just go into your vault and find a memory potion. Everyone except Emma and you will forget Hook. Then I'll send him out of town, on his way to Boston. Then, she'll be all yours. And soon, I will be too."

"You want me to convince Emma that this Hook drama was fake? I wouldn't feel right lying to her," Regina had said uncertainly, worried this plan would fail and she would lose Emma forever.

"So, just erase her memory. Give her a potion or something. Channel that inner Queen of yours, Regina. She's too scared to make the first move. So you have to."

And so, that's exactly what Regina did. As soon as Emma took a drink of her water, her memory was wiped clean, replaced with real memories of her and Regina. The brunette smiled, inwardly loving getting in touch with her evil roots.

"Now what was that nonsense about you marrying some pirate?" Regina purred, planting a kiss on the blonde's lips. Emma smiled cheekily. "I guess I have a wild imagination. You know I wouldn't want anyone else."

Emma Swan smiled as she glimpsed into the mirror that held her future. Now _this_ was a life she could be happy with. As she heard the Mayor's very angry voice echoing down into the vault she had trespassed in, she knew the chase was going to be so worth it. It seemed all she needed was a little shove in the right direction to find her true self.


End file.
